So it was a rather interesting week here in the Arkansas wilderness. My Dad had a stent put in his heart, which apparently sounds much worse than it actually is. He went in for surgery at 9:30a and he was in recovery by 10:45a. That was on Wednesday and he will be home today – so this week included multiple trips to the hospital.
Also my mother wanted something from QVC, which is another adventure. I’m not sure if you know this, but the NSA is VERY interested in my mother’s choice in hair care products, and she doesn’t want the secret to her reddish blond tresses to get out. So when she gets low on a certain conditioner I have to go online and order it for her. Everything traces back to me and everyone knows my hair isn’t worthy of any state secrets. Also, she bought me a shirt and wanted to know wanted to make sure it fit because she wanted to take it back.
And how does this all tie together? I was on my way to the hospital to see my Dad, I was wearing my new shirt, and when I stopped at the post office, I picked up the package from QVC. I decided to stop off at my parents house to give let my Mom see my shirt, and give her the top secret conditioner. Only she wasn’t there. She was at an ACES Estate sale and told me to drop by on my way into the hospital. ( I guess I should clarify that my Mom was going to see my Dad later in the afternoon, after the estate sales she wanted to go to. You can take that as statement about the seriousness of the surgery, or my Mom’s love of a really good deal. Either way, it’s probably true.)
I stop by the estate sale. She sees my shirt and approves. She takes possession of the super secret conditioner, and she shows me all the dolls that were at the sale. Although I was the one that had to point out that there was a china JFK Doll for only $14 and if I was into JFK I would have gotten it. we looked around and off course there were a few hideous lamps, and you know how I love me a hideous lamp. Remember this one?
However, I have enough lamps, and I have put a kibosh on anymore lamp purchases. I was walking out on my way to the car, and I was going to go on to the hospital. But I saw this and it could not be denied.
I had to have it. At $7 I could afford it. It was mine. I was at the register when my Mom came out of the house with her own purchase and I heard her scream one of those soap opera screams that indicate unavoidable peril ”NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
The best part?
Ace Estate Sales Lady Employee 1 : Didn’t you buy the orange lamp we had a few weeks ago
Ace Estate Sales Man Employee 2 : So… Are you opening a bordello?
Me: Maybe I have already.
Ace Estate Sales man Employee 2 : Can you give me the directions?
Ace Estate Sales Lady Employee 3, handing $2 to Employee 1 : I bet her no one would buy that thing.
Now if i could find a blue one…