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I’m trying to get back into the swing of going on my walks every day, it’s been hard for me. I had decided that today was THE day, I get back on track. So I got up this morning, pulled on my sweatshirt, grabbed my ipod and went to the park.
Like everyone else in the world, I have a special playlist, and I usually put it on shuffle, but only after I listen to Katy Perry’s ROAR. Lisa in the OKC said she felt that it was my theme song, and I’ve adopted it as such, and before I start the shuffle I listen to it twice, just in case I’m not feeling like a champion, and the truth is I haven’t lately. With Dash’s passing, to say I’ve felt out of sorts would be an understatement. Everything in my life changed in day, and the truth is when it came down to our version of the dynamic duo, Dash was the fearless. brave one. On our last night together I told him I was going to need help, and I was going to need his courage, his adventurous spirit and most of all his wild heart. I think he did that for me. I think he did that so we’d always be together. So today, when I was not feeling like a champion, I remembered that the one animal, besides an actual tiger, that had the eye of the tiger, was my Dash. A walk in the park conquered with no tears.
Since I was out, I went to the post office, and Sugar, Sugar by The Archies came on. I used to sing that to Dash, only I change the lyrics as all dog owners do, instead of flipping to the next song, I listened and even sang a little – with the Dash lyrics – Sugar, oh Dashy Dashy …you are my candy dog, and you got me walking you! Yeah, there pretty ridic, but bubblegum pop was one of his many vices, all of which were charming. Guess what? NO TEARS …
Which brings me to the most important event of the day. The post office. There was a package waiting for me and as I so often due I opened it, and there was my candy boy in bright candy colors.
I exploded in tears. In a good way.
Here’s the thing, I don’t cry myself to sleep anymore. I can walk into my house and not feel this wave of oneness wash over me. I can look at pictures of dogs, I can watch videos of water lovin’ pugs getting baths, I can listen to dog stories, and I can even talk about Dash, all without crying … and that’s because I have amazing friends. I’ve been able to sob on the phone, I’ve been able to talk. I’ve been able to stay quiet, I’ve had friends checking in on me, and I’ve received cards with wonderful remembrances of Dash. My old boss reflected on how Dash was so happy to meet him that he jumped up slammed his skull into my bosses chin and nearly knocked him out. Did you know Hallmark makes a card for when a dog passes away? Apparently, they only make 1 – because I got it a total of 4 times. It has been nice for me to read and hear that other people thought he was sweet, and crazy and silly too. He made them laugh as much as me.
Lindsey thank you for the picture. You were right, that is my Dash. The picture is hanging in my bedroom, across from a mirror, and I can see him from every spot in the room. Some people would say that it doesn’t go with the Pre-Raphaelite thing I have going on here, but I think it does, the prints are a few chubby blonds lazing around, daydreaming on blankets and furs – Dash is used to that!
So if you’re reading this I want to thank you. You’re one of the people that have helped me handle this in a much better way than I thought I could. Thank you for caring about me, but most of all for loving Dash too
Yeah, I had to look that up.
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I went to my Mom’s after running around on errands today, and she’s gussied the place up for Christmas and let me tell you, it is catalog pretty.
Except for one thing, the devil angel.
Yes, that’s right, my Mom has a devil angel. The scariest Christmas decoration ever created, and bare in mind I grew up with a Krampus Christmas tradition. My Mother says her angel is NOT the devil, that she is beautiful. I’ll let you decide.
Marika: That angel is horrifying.
Mom: She is not!
Marika: Seriously, she’s a devil.
Mom: She’s pretty.
Marika: I’m taking a picture of her so I can show people, and seriously, do you think it’s a good idea to keep her so close to the nativity, she’s going to scare baby Jesus.
Mom: SHE’S RUSTIC!
I go to take the picture.
Mom: For God’s sake! Don’t get so close!